The Bloggess : I pointed out that unexpected pandas are good practice for when you have a home invasion because if you aren’t rattled by spontaneous pandas then you’re probably going to be able to keep your cool during the zombie apocalypse.
Fetch My Flying Monkeys : What kind of hippy voodoo bullshit is this?
Funny or Snot : If he's not walking by Thursday, he's going to a different kind of church. You know the kind where they slap the sick kid on the forehead and cry "Heal Child". I need a professional because it didn't work when I tried it at home.
As Cape Cod Turns : we called it "musical beds"
Motherhood Uncensored : I know a few people who need to be put in a "LOL" time out.
Lola is 40 : At what point does a backyard officially become a cemetery?
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Quotes - January 23, 2011
Funny or Snot : I certainly wasn’t expecting to lose my bra somewhere in the Portland Rose Gardens
Parenting By Dummies : he sounds distinctively like one small, green Jedi master
Speaking From The Crib : What if his thingy melted off?
Adventures In Paradise : I was much too busy bonding with the strippers over our shared love of leg warmers and vagina glitter to have a drink
Highly Irritable : I spent my Christmas break learning Bakugan attributes forcibly at the hands of a tyrant in a Transformers housecoat,
Day By Day : I see the benefit of being a nudist
Parenting By Dummies : he sounds distinctively like one small, green Jedi master
Speaking From The Crib : What if his thingy melted off?
Adventures In Paradise : I was much too busy bonding with the strippers over our shared love of leg warmers and vagina glitter to have a drink
Highly Irritable : I spent my Christmas break learning Bakugan attributes forcibly at the hands of a tyrant in a Transformers housecoat,
Day By Day : I see the benefit of being a nudist
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Quotes - January 9, 2011
Absolutely Narcissism : He will then run into the newly painted bedroom naked, stand against one of the fully painted walls, and say, "How do I look in pink?" which translates to "Let's do it while the kids are all downstairs."
Patchwork Times : Once upon a time, I thought that maybe that wasn’t a balanced meal but then I realized as long as there’s lots of gravy, who cares?
Busted Plumbing : I smelled like five day old waffles that have been sitting at the bottom of your sink that you forgot to clean out before you left for a short trip. Sweet and homeless-man's-asshole, that's how I smelled.
It’s Not All Mary Poppins : There may even have been some Potty Dancing around the puddle of steaming dampness.
Patchwork Times : Once upon a time, I thought that maybe that wasn’t a balanced meal but then I realized as long as there’s lots of gravy, who cares?
Busted Plumbing : I smelled like five day old waffles that have been sitting at the bottom of your sink that you forgot to clean out before you left for a short trip. Sweet and homeless-man's-asshole, that's how I smelled.
It’s Not All Mary Poppins : There may even have been some Potty Dancing around the puddle of steaming dampness.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Quotes - December 31, 2010
Adaption of Jane : I should have just asked her to put a paper bag on her head
Suburban Turmoil : I feel like my life has become one eternal snow day.
Barefoot Foodie : basically, we all agreed (by we, I mean, me, my doctor and my percoset bottle) that I am having pain.
Steam Me Up Kid : I promise I won't fart in your treatment cubicle again.
Suburban Turmoil : I feel like my life has become one eternal snow day.
Barefoot Foodie : basically, we all agreed (by we, I mean, me, my doctor and my percoset bottle) that I am having pain.
Steam Me Up Kid : I promise I won't fart in your treatment cubicle again.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Quotes - December 17, 2010
I Make Soap : nothing says "I love you" like a couple of bite size snickers and a juice box.
Unknown Mami : I was so mad, I woke him up and thanked him for ruining my dream with his stinky farts.
My Own Brand of Crazy : That's where I learned about political leaders.......like Genghis Kahn!
Alone With Cats : Maybe people wouldn’t hate terrorists so much if they attacked us with baked goods. Unless the baked goods weren’t delish. That would really hit us where it hurts. I should probably stop giving advice to al-Qaeda.
Yo Mama’s Blog : Dry Humping In The Front Yard Is A No-No
http://yo-mamasblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/because-im-cheap-ass.html
Pregnant Chicken : When I first saw this I was beyond WTF? (and I went to art college)
Unknown Mami : I am a brilliant typo-ist!!!
Unknown Mami : I was so mad, I woke him up and thanked him for ruining my dream with his stinky farts.
My Own Brand of Crazy : That's where I learned about political leaders.......like Genghis Kahn!
Alone With Cats : Maybe people wouldn’t hate terrorists so much if they attacked us with baked goods. Unless the baked goods weren’t delish. That would really hit us where it hurts. I should probably stop giving advice to al-Qaeda.
Yo Mama’s Blog : Dry Humping In The Front Yard Is A No-No
http://yo-mamasblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/because-im-cheap-ass.html
Pregnant Chicken : When I first saw this I was beyond WTF? (and I went to art college)
Unknown Mami : I am a brilliant typo-ist!!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Quotes - October 14, 2010
I am SO sorry I haven't posted lately - at least I was still collecting your funniness.
The Queen of WTF : From this day forward she will be formally known as... Dame of the Penis Platter.
The Bloggess : My grandmother always used to say “living well is the best revenge” but I suspect that’s just because she’d never considered arson.
It’s Not All Mary Poppins : It’s big! It’s the CN Tower!!! It’s the Eiffel Tower!!!!! It’s… it’s… it’s… It’s my PENIS!!!
Lyn Upside Down : I'm still suffering a velveeta hangover a day later.
Sara Spelled Without an H : Wrong, you pizza communists
Barefoot Foodie : I bought these really amazing heels from Bakers. Which is where you go when you want shoes sexier than you could find at JC Penny, but not so sexy they are clear and come with pole traction.
Astoria Rust : it has about as much charm as a prison bus.
Unknown Mami : If I say my mood is at it’s worsest, it’s best not to correct my grammar at that moment.
The Gypsy Life : Did you know that this pregnant woman can indeed fit into the refigerator??
Finding Fairytales : we're curing depression...one red bull at a time.
••••••••••••••••••
The Queen of WTF : From this day forward she will be formally known as... Dame of the Penis Platter.
The Bloggess : My grandmother always used to say “living well is the best revenge” but I suspect that’s just because she’d never considered arson.
It’s Not All Mary Poppins : It’s big! It’s the CN Tower!!! It’s the Eiffel Tower!!!!! It’s… it’s… it’s… It’s my PENIS!!!
Lyn Upside Down : I'm still suffering a velveeta hangover a day later.
Sara Spelled Without an H : Wrong, you pizza communists
Barefoot Foodie : I bought these really amazing heels from Bakers. Which is where you go when you want shoes sexier than you could find at JC Penny, but not so sexy they are clear and come with pole traction.
Astoria Rust : it has about as much charm as a prison bus.
Unknown Mami : If I say my mood is at it’s worsest, it’s best not to correct my grammar at that moment.
The Gypsy Life : Did you know that this pregnant woman can indeed fit into the refigerator??
Finding Fairytales : we're curing depression...one red bull at a time.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Quotes - August 18, 2010
It’s Not All Mary Poppins : Three poops? A poo in triplicate! A poo trifecta.
Away We Go : we engaged in a turf battle with Ye Olde Teenagers and their ancient squirt-muskets of annoyance.
The Monster Apathy : I think we can all agree that the moral of the story holds true: Don't fuck with someone who can launch fireworks out of their dick.
Alone With Cats : I pretty much do whatever the Indigo Girls tell me to do
Funny or Snot : Did you know fly paper can trap a parakeet as well as flies?
Queen of WTF : I may lose my pickled gin soaked little toe to the mouse trap I just set by the liquor cabinet.
Funny Not Slutty : I suspect suspect there is a sadistic, secret math society at work continually creating a gap between every generation.
Speaking From The Crib : I averted the clitoris question.
Away We Go : we engaged in a turf battle with Ye Olde Teenagers and their ancient squirt-muskets of annoyance.
The Monster Apathy : I think we can all agree that the moral of the story holds true: Don't fuck with someone who can launch fireworks out of their dick.
Alone With Cats : I pretty much do whatever the Indigo Girls tell me to do
Funny or Snot : Did you know fly paper can trap a parakeet as well as flies?
Queen of WTF : I may lose my pickled gin soaked little toe to the mouse trap I just set by the liquor cabinet.
Funny Not Slutty : I suspect suspect there is a sadistic, secret math society at work continually creating a gap between every generation.
Speaking From The Crib : I averted the clitoris question.
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