Astoria Oregon Rust : There are cow dreams, elephant dreams and even whale dreams.
Adventures In Paradise : And that? That is when I realized. They thought I was a hooker.
The Duchess Of Dorkville : She sounds like a hippo getting ass-raped.
Sassy Pants Freckle Face : Talk it over with your creatures before hand that way the bear bitches don't rape you with 6$ bear panties
The Fourth Blog Frog : One piece of anatomy I didn't need help locating was my right ovary -- because I'm pretty sure I dislodged it trying to do a move that should only be reserved for professional members of Cirq de Soleil.
Away We Go : once in awhile, you find that Diamonique in the rough.
A Life For Rent : now my keyboard is tacky and smells like sneezes
Speaking From The Crib : I have transported myself to an alternate universe, where a husband can tell the crypt keeper that his chubby wife wears an extra small thong and whips him and no one blinks an eye.
The Random Blogette : who wants teeth biting their nips!?
Busted Plumbing : My ass was as windless as a broken piccolo
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Quotes - July 6, 2010
A Walk Through My Little World : Skeeter was a randy little boy and L.O.V.E.D. my thumb in some rather disturbing ways.
Salt Says : my cats prefer chicken over fish any day of the week and neither of them are alcoholics.
My Own Brand of Crazy : wait, does that make me a whore? Spreading my legs for a tetanus shot?
Leigh vs Laundry : he would dive bomb into them, knock them over, sit on them, and then suck on their head
A Lovely Life : You don’t want to spook a moose.
Butts and Ashes : your hair would look the same way if you drove 1200 fish around in your car.
Sanity Is Overrated : I am a water balloon Ninja.
Hyperbole and a Half : This dog is uncoordinated in a way that would suggest her canine lineage is tainted with traces of a species with a different number of legs - like maybe a starfish or some sort of primitive snake.
Barefoot Foodie : I always book my departure fights so ungodly early that I don’t even actually go to bed the night before, and just arrive at the airport hungover and looking like Keith Richards
Salt Says : my cats prefer chicken over fish any day of the week and neither of them are alcoholics.
My Own Brand of Crazy : wait, does that make me a whore? Spreading my legs for a tetanus shot?
Leigh vs Laundry : he would dive bomb into them, knock them over, sit on them, and then suck on their head
A Lovely Life : You don’t want to spook a moose.
Butts and Ashes : your hair would look the same way if you drove 1200 fish around in your car.
Sanity Is Overrated : I am a water balloon Ninja.
Hyperbole and a Half : This dog is uncoordinated in a way that would suggest her canine lineage is tainted with traces of a species with a different number of legs - like maybe a starfish or some sort of primitive snake.
Barefoot Foodie : I always book my departure fights so ungodly early that I don’t even actually go to bed the night before, and just arrive at the airport hungover and looking like Keith Richards
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Quotes - June 27, 2010
Finding Fairytales : my hair was no longer a cross between "stripper" and "big bird's" love child
Pajamas & Coffee : emitted what can only be described as the type of piercing scream of a woman who has just learned she accidentally walked into church naked.
Barefoot Foodie : I was entirely certain that I had squatted in the library, forgetting that I had a skirt on, showed everyone my underwear, possibly my Jesus flower, and this ophthalmologist person was the doctor in charge of either removing it, sewing it shut, or making it so I was never allowed to have babies or grow boobs.
Lyn Upside Down : it's a long story involving an extremely high nerd factor
Salt Says : The fact that your hand is on fire might be fascinating, but you need to put it out right away.
The Meanest Mom : I always held my breath in hopes that behind a wall or underneath three layers of hideous bathroom tile we would find a stash of reindeer antlers or a petrified elf.
Alone With Cats : my diary was an early exercise in plagiarism.
Yo Mama’s Blog : So now I have office bathroom floor in my vagina.
Away We Go : At last, at last, I will be able to see the nipple rings and tribal tattoos of my fellow Southern Marylanders all year long.
All A Bunch Of Momsense : Gah, he’s cute. Even if he DOES have bugs in his ears.
Putting The FUN In DysFUNctional : watched him jumping off the couch, pretending to be Buzz Lightyear, shouting "To infillity...AND BEHIND!"
Pajamas & Coffee : emitted what can only be described as the type of piercing scream of a woman who has just learned she accidentally walked into church naked.
Barefoot Foodie : I was entirely certain that I had squatted in the library, forgetting that I had a skirt on, showed everyone my underwear, possibly my Jesus flower, and this ophthalmologist person was the doctor in charge of either removing it, sewing it shut, or making it so I was never allowed to have babies or grow boobs.
Lyn Upside Down : it's a long story involving an extremely high nerd factor
Salt Says : The fact that your hand is on fire might be fascinating, but you need to put it out right away.
The Meanest Mom : I always held my breath in hopes that behind a wall or underneath three layers of hideous bathroom tile we would find a stash of reindeer antlers or a petrified elf.
Alone With Cats : my diary was an early exercise in plagiarism.
Yo Mama’s Blog : So now I have office bathroom floor in my vagina.
Away We Go : At last, at last, I will be able to see the nipple rings and tribal tattoos of my fellow Southern Marylanders all year long.
All A Bunch Of Momsense : Gah, he’s cute. Even if he DOES have bugs in his ears.
Putting The FUN In DysFUNctional : watched him jumping off the couch, pretending to be Buzz Lightyear, shouting "To infillity...AND BEHIND!"
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Quotes - June 20, 2010
Salt Says : Usually I only develop fangirl crushes on Sesame Street characters
Lambykins : To me, if I don't have frostbite on my nipples, the air conditioner is not functioning properly.
Not That Kind Of Girl : a few weeks ago I saw a dude spread out a linen handkerchief on said unoccupied seat and spread out an honest-to-pete PICNIC on the seat next to him. Complete with friggin’ soup, the least appropriate bus food since lighter-broiled s’mores.
Life With Flowers : They are fond of their hanging meats.
The Meanest Mom : An unfortunate typo resulted in Mr. Quacker's conversion to the Religious Society of Friends.
Beth: A Work In Progress : I really don’t like bacon bits in my banana pudding
The Zen of Motherhood : I've always been partial to the Great Flying Middle Finger.
Motherhood Uncensored : I'm pregnant with Mary Poppins!
Lambykins : To me, if I don't have frostbite on my nipples, the air conditioner is not functioning properly.
Not That Kind Of Girl : a few weeks ago I saw a dude spread out a linen handkerchief on said unoccupied seat and spread out an honest-to-pete PICNIC on the seat next to him. Complete with friggin’ soup, the least appropriate bus food since lighter-broiled s’mores.
Life With Flowers : They are fond of their hanging meats.
The Meanest Mom : An unfortunate typo resulted in Mr. Quacker's conversion to the Religious Society of Friends.
Beth: A Work In Progress : I really don’t like bacon bits in my banana pudding
The Zen of Motherhood : I've always been partial to the Great Flying Middle Finger.
Motherhood Uncensored : I'm pregnant with Mary Poppins!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Quotes - June 5, 2010
Office_Cubism : Thank you for your radish management
Eternally Distracted : May the only pain in your life be champagne.
Peeling An Orange with A Screwdriver : Kids make you do things you never thought possible and it all starts the minute you shove them out of that impossibly small exit between your legs.
Mom and Mommer : remember you have the power of the mystical vagina on your side
The Bean : I bet I dream about drunk unicorns tonight.
The Bloggess : comforters are like giant shamwows
Not That Kind of Girl : Bathroom breaks at work are approximately 500% more fun when you spend thirty seconds twisting your pelvis to admire the light playing on your crotch disco ball.
Stacie’s Madness : Mr.F and I will be doing it Paul Bunyan style.
Alone With Cats : you’re wondering how wicked cool it would have been to go to college in the fucking air?
Eternally Distracted : May the only pain in your life be champagne.
Peeling An Orange with A Screwdriver : Kids make you do things you never thought possible and it all starts the minute you shove them out of that impossibly small exit between your legs.
Mom and Mommer : remember you have the power of the mystical vagina on your side
The Bean : I bet I dream about drunk unicorns tonight.
The Bloggess : comforters are like giant shamwows
Not That Kind of Girl : Bathroom breaks at work are approximately 500% more fun when you spend thirty seconds twisting your pelvis to admire the light playing on your crotch disco ball.
Stacie’s Madness : Mr.F and I will be doing it Paul Bunyan style.
Alone With Cats : you’re wondering how wicked cool it would have been to go to college in the fucking air?
Monday, May 24, 2010
Quotes - May 24, 2010
The Queen of WTF : The moral of this story...Don't let the second graders mix your drinks.
Not That Kind Of Girl : I am: about as seductive as a stomach flu.
Hyperbole and A Half : no matter how many decoy items you buy, you still feel positive that the checker is going to notice your conspicuous purchase and think you are some twisted freak with explosive diarrhea.
Yankee Girl guest post on Speaking From the Crib : According to Leland, there is nothing that cannot be solved by naked women.
Eternally Distracted : There is a simple solutions to everything... Champagne!
Off On A Tangent : I have a date with a sharpie and a roll of blue masking tape!
Picture Imperfect : Life's a birch and then you die!
Unknown Mami : "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the ignorant city girl that thinks roosters hump eggs."
Chronical of Linnnn : my clothes just fell off around him. Spontaneous disrobement.
Airing My Dirty Laundry... One Sock At A Time : STOP LIFTING UP YOUR SHIRT AND FLASHING THE CARS. You are NOT A KARDASHIAN SISTER!
Ann Again and Again : Perhaps it's Twitter Tourette Syndrome.
Not That Kind Of Girl : I am: about as seductive as a stomach flu.
Hyperbole and A Half : no matter how many decoy items you buy, you still feel positive that the checker is going to notice your conspicuous purchase and think you are some twisted freak with explosive diarrhea.
Yankee Girl guest post on Speaking From the Crib : According to Leland, there is nothing that cannot be solved by naked women.
Eternally Distracted : There is a simple solutions to everything... Champagne!
Off On A Tangent : I have a date with a sharpie and a roll of blue masking tape!
Picture Imperfect : Life's a birch and then you die!
Unknown Mami : "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the ignorant city girl that thinks roosters hump eggs."
Chronical of Linnnn : my clothes just fell off around him. Spontaneous disrobement.
Airing My Dirty Laundry... One Sock At A Time : STOP LIFTING UP YOUR SHIRT AND FLASHING THE CARS. You are NOT A KARDASHIAN SISTER!
Ann Again and Again : Perhaps it's Twitter Tourette Syndrome.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Quotes - May 7, 2010
Punk Rock HR : I look better as a washed-out-blonde with dark roots than I do as a woman with green hair.
I Am Lotus : We have a Peep down, people. I repeat, PEEP DOWN.
As Cape Cod Turns : Who knew your butt has springs?
Eternally Distracted : "Look Mum, my nails have changed a different language"
Astoria Oregon Rust : Yes, the opening act had more musical talent than I; however they didn’t have the common sense not to subject others to their talent.
i’m Not benny : if you are a kangaroo and happen to be riddled with the rabies, all you do is crave the taste of old people.
Unknown Mami : “Our teacher was sick, so we had a prostitute teacher.”
Not That Kind of Girl : Something about this picture really screams "diphteria!" to me.
Eternally Distracted : SHE IS STEALING MY OCD!!!
Yo Mama’s Blog : You guys are like the United Nations of morons.
UberGrumpy : he looked like a mini Conehead after a brutal deathmatch mud-wrestle.
Unknown Mami Mayonnaise was introduced to the United States on May 5th, 1862 when a native of Puebla visiting relatives in the US whipped up a batch and was walking down the street with a bowl of mayo and bumped into an American eating a dry tuna sandwich.
I Am Lotus : We have a Peep down, people. I repeat, PEEP DOWN.
As Cape Cod Turns : Who knew your butt has springs?
Eternally Distracted : "Look Mum, my nails have changed a different language"
Astoria Oregon Rust : Yes, the opening act had more musical talent than I; however they didn’t have the common sense not to subject others to their talent.
i’m Not benny : if you are a kangaroo and happen to be riddled with the rabies, all you do is crave the taste of old people.
Unknown Mami : “Our teacher was sick, so we had a prostitute teacher.”
Not That Kind of Girl : Something about this picture really screams "diphteria!" to me.
Eternally Distracted : SHE IS STEALING MY OCD!!!
Yo Mama’s Blog : You guys are like the United Nations of morons.
UberGrumpy : he looked like a mini Conehead after a brutal deathmatch mud-wrestle.
Unknown Mami Mayonnaise was introduced to the United States on May 5th, 1862 when a native of Puebla visiting relatives in the US whipped up a batch and was walking down the street with a bowl of mayo and bumped into an American eating a dry tuna sandwich.
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